Telemarketers on Christmas Eve
by Alice in Despairland
Summary: On the morning of Christmas Eve, Aster Phoenix receives a phone call from a telemarketer, which results in more and more of them calling the poor boy. How will poor Aster survive?


A/N: Hi everyone! I'm here with a somewhat-humorous Christmas oneshot. I was bored, and had absolutely nothing to do besides watch TV. So I was switching channels, and then I saw this guy who kept getting a random telephone call every 10 seconds. And then finally, he snapped and his girlfriend walked in the room XDDDDD It was soooooooooooo funny. Trust me. I forget what it's from, but it was on.. I forget. Oops. God I'm stupid XD Anyways, I dedicate this to my younger cousin Kyle (who will unfortunatly not be spending Christmas with our family this year because of his bitch of a mother. Damn you, Shelby. Damn you..) and my other little cousin Jillian (Who I'll be seeing very soon! Hehehe!). So, please do enjoy this rather random-and-kinda short oneshot.

**Disclimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX or the scene with the guy and the telephone. If I did, it would also mean that gorganzola cheese would be ALIVE! MUAHAHA! -cough- I mean, enjoy!**

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My(Narrator's) POV

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Once apon a time, in a land far, far away, lived Alexis Rhodes, a princess----- wait, wrong story!!

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Aster Phoenix, professional duelist and rich kid. His achievements? Too long to list. His failures? No one's lived to know if he had any or not. But today, we'll be uncovering Aster's newest and most strange weakness:

Telephone calls.

Yes, the dreaded telephone calls when you pick up, no one is there. Or it's one of those extremely annoying telemarketers. Either way, they're both BAD. Unless it's simply a close friend, relative, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, then I highly suggest just saying "You suck." and hanging up. But you've got the idea.

We wonder who the hell was the idiot who decided to start doing such things, but sometimes we can never find the answer. Sometimes, we know the answer, but don't want to say it. But this story isn't about us, right?

So, let's join Aster in facing his most strange weakness of all on a not-so-wonderful Christmas Eve morning.

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It was a beautiful morning in Domino City. The air was fresh, the sun was blazing hot, and children could be heard laughing everywhere you looked.

Not.

It was a snowy and cold morning in Domino City. The streets were crowded, and the conversations within the city seemed endless. Either way, this was to be expected, because of course, it was Christmas Eve. Yes, Christmas Eve. The mostly cheery and family-fun filled day when families would gather and children would await the arrival of Santa Claus, the jolly old elf who would often bring presents to the good little girls and boys of the world.

But that was a different story for pro-duelist Aster Phoenix.

This year, all he had done for the holiday season was amuse millions and millions of people in many of Domino City's dueling stadiums. Of course, the pay was big, but after awhile, it would get tiring. So Aster decided to just take a break for at least two days by staying at a hotel known as _'The Double Domino'_ and hopefully get some nice relaxation.

Unfortunatly for Aster, he forgot to turn his cell phone off last night before drifting away to dreamland. Why? Nobody knows except him.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas..._

Aster opened an eye, wondering where the sudden music came from.

_'Don't these guys realize it's only 6 o'clock in the morning?' _he wondered. Pushing the thought aside, Aster resumed to try and sleep once more.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year!!_

Aster opened both of his eyes, looking around the room.

"Alright, who's doing it?" he asked to nobody in particular. He continued to look around the room, until he finally saw a vibrating cell phone sitting by the TV.

_'It's only my cell phone,' _he thought. _'But where'd I get such a Christmasy ringtone?'_

Aster threw the heavy covers off of himself and stood up, tossing on the silver robe the hotel provided. He walked over to the TV stand, picked up the cell phone, and opened it up.

"Hello?" he greeted.

"Hello there, is this Mr. Aster Phoenix?" the feminine voice asked on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, and you are?"

"Well, could I possibly interest you in a new and free ringtone of your choice?"

"Uh, no, I'm fine with what I've got, thanks."

"But Mr. Phoenix, this is a once in a lifetime chance!"

"I told you before, I'm fine with what I've got."

"But Mr. Phoenix---"

Aster simply just hung up before the woman could protest further.

_'Why the heck would someone offer me a new ringtone at 6 o'clock in the morning?.. Ah well. I guess telemarketers are getting creative nowadays.'_ he concluded.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas----_

_'Not again..'_ Aster mentally complained, flipping the cell phone open.

"Hello?"

"Hi! My name's Jennie! Are you Mr. Itsuki Koizumi(1)?"

"Uh..no?"

"Oh well.. you'll do for now. Anyways, could I interest you in a brand new car?"

"No, I've already got a limo."

Aster could faintly hear a gasp on the other end of the line.

"Wow, really?! That's like, soooooooo cool!"

"Thank you?"

"You're like, so welcome! So, how about the new car?"

"No."

"But Mr. Anonymous----"

Aster hung up once more.

_'They sure are persistent as of recent..' _he thought, setting the cell phone down on the nightstand by the bed and laying down.

_'Maybe I can finally get some sleep..'_ Aster hoped.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas---_

The third time in a row. Now _this_ just had to be destiny! Once more, Aster grabbed the cell phone on the nightstand and flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"HI! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

"Uh..okay?"

"BUT YOU KNOW WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO FOR EACH OTHER?! STUFF! YEAH! AND THAT STUFF JUST HAPPENS TO BE BUYING A NICE NEW CAR FROM ME---"

"Look, ma'am, I've been getting calls like these all morning. And I've told each and every one of them that I'm not interested. You aren't getting an answer that's any different."

"Y-YOU'RE SO MEAN!"

Aster simply just hung up once more before he would have to listen to more of the girl's persistent whining.

_'Destiny is working in strange ways today..'_ Aster thought.

_We wish you a merry----_

Now Aster was getting just plain sick of these people. Sure, one was fine, but now four? Still, he couldn't help but answer the cell-phone one more time.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you. You got any money?"

"And if I do?"

"I want it."

"That's great to know. Go work for it."

"No, I want _your_ money. Now."

"That isn't going to happen, pal."

"If you won't give me your money..." the stranger's more gangsta sounding voice instantly switched to that of a polite young salesman. "How about you just subscribe to---"

"Leave me alone!"

Aster hung up once more, turning off the cell phone for good and tossing it into the corner.

"Stupid telemarketers.." Aster mumbled under his breath. But all was calm and all was right, right? Maybe that means our favorite young duelist can finally get some sleep..

_'Maybe I can finally get some sleep..'_ Aster thought, trying his best to fall asleep.

_**"Aster..."**_

Aster's eyes shot open in an instant, scanning the room for any signs of life.

_**"Aster.. you know you want to purchase our products.."**_

_'Great, now I'm going crazy...'_ he thought.

_**"We'll be waiting for your money, Aster... hehehe.."**_

By now, Aster was just plain scared of that freaky voice. It kept telling him to buy someone's products, but in a freakishly-strange way.

_**"Destiny says that you'll buy our products, Aster.. hehehe.."**_

"I'm probably just hearing things.." Aster told himself.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas---_

Aster's eyes widened in fear.

"But how?! I thought I tu---"

_**"Hehehe... you did.. but as you said.. You can't hide from destiny.."**_

Slowly, Aster arose from the bed and walked over to the corner where his cell phone lay, continuing to sing Christmas music. He picked it up and flipped the cover open, having a good feeling of what was coming next.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Phoenix."

"And you are?"

"No one."

"What a joke."

"Joke? Why, I'm quite insulted, Mr. Phoenix."

"Whatever. What are you trying to sell me now?"

"Simple. I would like to interest you in waking up from this dream."

"Huh?"

"Wakey wakey, Aster.."

The cell phone Aster was holding bursted into small sparkles of light and the whole room dissolved into sand. Aster looked around, and tried to interpret what was happening. But he could no longer see anything but a great and powerful light.

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"WHOA!"

Aster's eyes shot open in a single flash, practically making it seemed like poor duelist was scared. Which he was. But hey, who could blame him? If I had a dream about telemarketers, I'd be scared too!

"What just happend..?" he asked himself, scanning the room in curiousity. Aster's cell phone was resting on the TV stand, unlike how it apparently bursted into sparkles when he apparently 'woke up' from that strange nightmare.

"It was only a dream.." Aster said with a sigh of relief. He tossed the covers off and arose from the bed, stretching with a light yawn.

_We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas----_

Aster, still believing that getting a call from a telemarketer had a low chance in happening, simply picked up the cell phone and opened it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello there, is this Mr. Phoenix?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well, I'd like to interest you in---"

Aster didn't bother to listen any further. He simply just shut the cell phone, shoved it in his pocket, and jumped back in bed.

Some Christmas Eve this was turning out to be..

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1) Itsuki Koizumi is from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I don't own him, but he's pretty damn cute!

A/N: YES! I'm done! I don't wanna get flamed or CC'd, okay: (


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